BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS THAT MUST BE ANSWERED BEFORE YOU SAY I DO...

Don’t get married if these issues are not resolved

 1.     ARE YOU BORN AGAIN 

§  When were you born again

§  Where were you born Again?

§  Mt 7:17 "Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.

 2.     WHAT IS THE FINAL AUTHORITY FOR YOUR DECISIONS 

§  Gauge what/who has the highest authority in their life.

§  Do they value the Word of God?

 3.     CAN WE TALK ABOUT CHURCH?

§  Find out if the person is faithful to a local Church? Rebels, unforgiving and bitter people are usually one rangers.

§  Find out what importance they place on attending church, serving in church and supporting the church financially.

§  What church will we attend after getting married? Why?

§  Ps 92:13

Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.

 4.     WHO IS THE HEAD OF THE HOME AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

§  This will show you if a man understands the principle of servant leadership as Christ demonstrates over the church. 

§  It will also reveal if a women is a rebel at heart not willing to take instructions at all. 

§  1Co 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

 5.     CAN WE TALK ABOUT MONEY?

§  Where do you work and how do you earn your income?

§  What is their attitude about work and money? Do they save, do they have any investments?

§  Find out if they have any debts and how they are servicing those debts.

§  Find out whether they would do anything for money including living separately from you when you are married

§  Do they tithe or give in Church. Where do they place God in their finances. A person who does not honor God with their tithes, according to God’s Word, is a robber. Don’t marry a thief who steals from God. You will marry into many sorrows

Mal 3:8 "Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, 'In what way have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings.

 6.     WHAT WILL BE THE ROLE OF OUR POTENTIAL INLAWS?

§  Find out their attitude about their parents. It’s telling as to whether someone is a rebel against authority, walking in bitterness and un forgiveness or even mommy or daddy’s’ boy and girl who is controlled by their parents.

§  A person who thinks nothing about disobeying or dishonoring their parents is dangerous. There’s a blessing reserved for those who honor their parents.

Ephesians 6:2 & 3 Eph 6:2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

§  Find out what role they feel that both set’s of parents will play in the marriage. If they cannot set boundaries concerning, visits, phone calls, finances, children e.t.c. you are in for trouble

 7.     HOW DO YOU WANT TO SPEND OUR DAYS OFF AND SPECIAL HOLIDAYS E.G CHRISTMAS?

§  This will show you their attitude about free time and having fun together.

§  It will also be telling of whether or not you will come first before work, friends, extended family, hobbies, sports or the computer.

§  MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND! It’s important not just to love your mate but also to LIKE them. Many married people are lonely because they married someone who is not a recreational companion and they don’t enjoy doing things together.

 8.     DO YOU HAVE ANY ADDICTIONS?

§  Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you take drugs? Have you ever done so in the past?

§   Do you watch or listen to any pornographic material? Pornography is any material [visual or audio] designed to stimulate you sexually.

§  Remember, an addict is a sick person who you should NEVER date or marry and that one typical trait of an addict is that the

 9.     HAVE YOU EVER HIT SOMEONE?

§  Find out if they have anger management or violence issues.

§  You cannot save or rescue an abusive personality they need spiritual and professional help.

§  Find out if they believe in disciplining their wives.

Pr 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go.

10.  WHAT CULTURAL TRADITIONS, CUSTOMS AND TABOOS DO YOU HOLD DEAR?

§  Find out what customs they ascribe to, because if you marry him/her, they will be your customs as well. 

11.  ARE YOU MARRIED?

§  Have you ever been married before? 

§  What happened to your marriage? 

§  Do you believe it’s important to be faithful to one another? 

§  Find out what their attitude is about polygamy

§  Ge 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [one man one woman]

12.  CAN WE TALK ABOUT SEX?

§  Have you slept with anyone before? How many people?

§  Has any of those people, as far as you know, been diagnosed with an S.T.D.

§  Find out if they are sleeping with anyone even now while you are dating.

§  Find out if they have been sexually abused and how they dealt with it.

§  Find out if they have had or been checked for sexually transmitted diseases, especially AIDS and when. If you are still concerned, let them show you the doctors’ reports.

§  Are they willing to take necessary medical tests before marriage?

§  Find out what their attitude is about homosexuality, lesbianism, bisexuality, bestiality, pedophilia and incest.

§  Le 18:22 'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.

13.  WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ARE THE DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE HUSBAND/ WIFE

§  Don’t marry a woman who doesn’t want to cook of it’s important to you. 

§  Don’t marry a man who doesn’t want to help with the dishes if it’s important to you.

 14.  DO YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN? 

§  It is critical that you find out whether this person desires to have children. 

§  Find out it they have any children with anyone else and what are their obligations to those children. 

§  You have no right to keep a parent from the responsibility of raising or supporting their children. If you don’t want their children in the picture, don’t marry them

 15.  WHERE WILL YOU BE IN THIRTY OR FORTY YEARS? 

§  This will show you their dream, what they believe their purpose and their destiny is. 

§  Don’t marry someone whose dreams and ambitions are not complementary to yours. 

§  Ge 2:18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

N/B:

MARRIAGE IS THE MOST SERIOUS “CONTRACT” BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE ON EARTH. SCRUTINIZE THESE “CLAUSES” THOROUGHLY BEFORE YOU EVER DECIDE

TO SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE!

Lu 14:28 "For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it  29 "lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 "saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.''

 Researcher... Muli E.M